Well, I went to the doctor yesterday for my first appointment and it didn't go all that well. I had an ultrasound and unfortunately the doctor was unable to find a heartbeat. I have what is called a molar pregnancy. I had never heard of it before, and I guess it is pretty rare. From what I have learned it is a growth of abnormal tissue. Both normal pregnancies and molar pregnancies develop from a fertilized egg, though in a molar pregnancy the egg doesn't grow as it should. So pretty much, my body thinks that it is pregnant. My doctor felt the uterus earlier in the appointment and told me that my uterus was enlarged and soft, which meant that I was definitely pregnant. So, if I were to take a pregnancy test right now it would be positive, so I have all the symptoms and hormones of being pregnant, just not the fetus. I was in the process of deciding whether I should get a D&C or if I should just let it abort naturally, but my choice was made for me today when it passed naturally. Definitely not a fun experience, but I'm glad that the process has started and will hopefully be finished soon.
I am doing surprisingly well... much better than I thought I would. Of course right when the doctor told us, we were in total shock and extremely saddened, and although it totally stinks I am feeling at peace about it now. It's amazing how prayers and loved ones can really help in difficult times! I have actually been quite impressed with myself :). Hopefully everything will be better in the next few days.
Anyway, I just wanted to let you all know what was going on and hopefully I explained it somewhat coherently ;). I understand that things happen for reason, and I know that faith can show us amazing things if we are looking in the right places.
